WATCH OUT FOR TECH NECK! VISIT YOUR CHIROPRACTOR!

WATCH OUT FOR TECH NECK! HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Tech neck is the silent assassin hired by your smartphone. Every TikTok you watch drops another bowling ball’s worth of stress on your cervical curve—60 pounds at a 60-degree tilt, baby(yes, that’s true). Your neck muscles are now unionizing, picketing with cramps and sending you postcards that say, “We quit.” Enter the chiropractor, part wizard, part human bubble wrap, who’ll karate-chop your vertebrae back into formation faster than you can say “hold my avocado toast.”

Do nothing and you’ll evolve into a human Pez dispenser: head flipped forward, dispensing regrets instead of candy. Parallel parking? Forget it—you’ll pivot your whole torso like a budget Roomba, honking at pedestrians while narrating, “The specimen attempts a three-point turn… and fails.” One chiropractic adjustment and your neck reboots like Windows 95 finally finding the internet. You’ll swivel so smoothly strangers will ask if you’re auditioning for The Exorcist, in and odd but good way.

SCHEDULE AN APPOINMENT!